I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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