what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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