So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
