I could make wine with my vomit
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
