Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize