I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
