dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
did i just pee glitter
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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