Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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