she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
