He told me they were just razor bumps!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
