have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
where are my eyebrows?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
