I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
