I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
