If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
