the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I am available for nakedness
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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