god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
