Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i dont even know how to be here
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
