Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
