with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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