so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
