I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
