Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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