If that was your dad, he is hot
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
