In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
