so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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