so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
