I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Randomize
