Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
