trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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