Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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