he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
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