i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
