is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
