lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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