I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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