You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
