Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
