Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
