He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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