my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Operation Purity has been aborted
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
