Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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