I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize