college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
