Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
