My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think people are normalizing furries
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