she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
