Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My friends, they love my intelligence
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
