he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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