First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
