She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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