..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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