there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
