we have pet lesbian snakes
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
