ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
where does the pee come out of this thing
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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