yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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