Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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