I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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