I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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