i need an iv and a liver transplant
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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